When you stop problem-drinking, you suddenly get a third-ish of your day back. That’s because your days don’t fizzle out at 6 p.m. Instead of floating through your weekends and evenings in a dreamy fog, you’re there for all of it.
A WEEKLYNEWSLETTER OF JOKES + TRIVIA
The person who drinks herself silly on a Friday night and posts self-deprecating posts on social media, hoping to find validation for the pain she’s in. I was chasing the feeling that I got after a glass of wine, and I found myself regularly day-dreaming about drinking again. Part of the reason this statement bothers me is because I used to think this way too.
Choose A New Healthy Habit
It’s more common for a normal person to become a problem drinker than for a glassy-eyed nightmare to effortlessly evolve into someone who has a glass of Sauvignon Blanc with dinner. Because of that, you start to calcify your routines around alcohol, and you lose track of what’s fun besides drinking. It makes you give less of a shit about what you’re doing, who you’re doing it with, and whether any of it is healthy or safe. It also blurs your perception of time, and can even cause blackouts, where you’re conscious but have no memory of what’s happening. A therapist who specializes in addiction and recovery can offer invaluable support. This might include providing strategies to manage fears related to sobriety and sensitively addressing underlying issues.
- If drinking is part of your regular routine after work, or if it’s become a habit to share a bottle or two of wine with your friends on Friday nights, you may consider exploring your relationship with alcohol.
- Reaching out for support — whether to friends, family, or professionals like therapists or support groups — can provide the encouragement and guidance needed to take further steps toward sobriety.
tips to help you overcome the fear of being sober
Dealing with setbacks or relapses is a common part of the recovery process. It’s important to view these events not as failures but as opportunities for learning and growth. If you experience a setback, take the time to analyze what led to the relapse and discuss it with your support network or therapist to understand the triggers involved. Strengthening your coping strategies and possibly adjusting your recovery plan can help prevent future setbacks. Most importantly, maintain a compassionate attitude toward yourself and recognize that recovery is a journey with ups and downs.
Calm your mind. Change your life.
He recently completed a book about bipolar disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and addiction recovery to be published in Spring 2020. Find his full works at hhkeegan.com or connect with him @hhkeegan. Quite possibly the hardest part of staying sober isn’t simply staying sober, the hardest part is accepting some of the harsh realizations about how your own life, relationships and behaviors will change. It isn’t that sobriety sucks, it’s that living in a world filled with booze and drugs while staying clean and sober can suck (at https://ecosoberhouse.com/ times). In this podcast I share a little of what has and has not worked for me. As usual in my podcasts, I ask you to think about your own life and make decisions of your own.
This fear may manifest as an intense and persistent anxiety. Feeling like you need to rely on alcohol or drugs for enjoyment can be scary. If drinking is part of your regular routine after work, or if it’s become a habit to share a bottle or two of wine with your friends on Oxford House Friday nights, you may consider exploring your relationship with alcohol. The saying goes that your worst day in sobriety is better than your best day in addiction. Hunter Keegan is a musician and author with a day job. In psychology from Penn State and has previously worked in social services, nonprofit mentoring programs for at-risk youth and life coaching programs for adults with serious mental illness.
It’s not like you’ll get drunk from a candle that’s (inexplicably) scented like «wine country.» But that’s not the point. It could never work, but it still hurts to know they’re gone. Even if they were shitty or abusive, there’s still a part of you that’s hung up and wishes there was a way to make it work. I didn’t want to be one of those weird sober people.
- This is the version of yourself that allows you to sleep at night, who wants to be a good person and live a fulfilling life.
- Again, to alcoholics, drinking is obviously the funnest and only fun thing you can do.
- John Cheese the Great and Powerful wrote a pretty legendary column a few years back about his experiences with sobriety.
- We say, “alcohol has destroyed your life and led you down this path,” which is true, but YOU had a role in it as well.
- The main thing you realize when you swear off alcohol is that alcohol is fucking everywhere.
- It’s important to view these events not as failures but as opportunities for learning and growth.
Knowing what you should do isn’t enough. You have to motivate yourself, schedule it in, and consistently do the things that will help you improve your life in recovery. The other people next to you at group therapy sessions and support group meetings all have experiences that can help you.
What is nifaliophobia? Understanding the fear of being sober
You can choose to sit where you are for a moment, assess, and figure out a way forward. The being sober sucks main thing you realize when you swear off alcohol is that alcohol is fucking everywhere. It’s on the label of the soap in your parents’ guest bathroom. That’s the trickier part of sobriety.